Have you ever been without gratitude?
It is not a pleasant thought or memory,
to be sure, but
if you have known such a time,
conjure it back
and remember what that was like.
Perhaps it was a depression so
prolonged, that
it’s dull ache emptied you
of anything other than its own
gray self.
Perhaps it was a resentment so
bitter, so
acidic that its bile
singed away any grace.
Perhaps it was a grief so
complete, and
so unmitigated that every flower bed
of your soul lay fallow.
I can remember whole days,
even weeks,
as well as lesser small moments,
when the mental sky within my head
has thickened with dark gray
and the light of hope for anything
other than overcast days,
seemed impossible.
Sometimes…
sometimes the layers can be so thick
that gratitude is impossible to hold,
or even to touch
for even the smallest moment.
And when that happens,
if you have ever known such a feeling
or moment
or day
or year…
healing seems beyond question.
The reason I asked you
to go there with me for a moment,
is because of gratitude.
Gratitude
is the most powerful,
least considered,
most healing
light
within the constellation
of lights
within the human mind.
Touch your gratitude,
even with the tiny tip
or your pinky
and suddenly there will appear
a rope to ascend
should you have the capacity
to climb out.
It is not magic,
but it is medicinal.
Gratitude opens the channel
to other healing motions
within us,
and it cannot be extinguished.
Gratitude cannot be extinguished;
it can only be sealed off or hidden.
Hope can be extinguished.
Love can be suppressed.
Generosity can be withheld.
But gratitude cannot be extinguished.
It is always there inside us
like a tiny cobalt blue and sun yellow flower
blooming
in an ounce of soil
in the crevice of a rock.
Gratitude, if we allow it,
is the lifeline out of the worst
sorrow or
pain.
It is not an elevator
or even an escalator;
we still have to climb out
hand-over-hand;
or be held from underneath
and heaved upward
by people below.
But if we can touch our gratitude
we can manage the climb,
no matter how slow
no matter how strenuous.
That is the power
and the capacity
of gratitude.
Being a religious sort,
I assume gratitude is rooted in God,
that the amazingly gracious presence
penetrating all darkness
and all fear.
But I know plenty of people
who have know existential knowledge of God
who nonetheless know
the deep well of their gratitude.
So I cannot say for certain
what gratitude is,
except that it is like a magnetic pole –
no matter which way we turn
and no matter which way we move,
sooner or later
we come back to its presence.
It is there
and cannot be moved
and will be there
again and again
and again.
Turn our face toward it
and we feel its warmth.
Close our eyes
and touch its presence
near the intersection
of heart and lung,
and we will feel rise
like the morning sun.
Even if it is just a small warmth
or a faint light,
we will feel it.
It is a sensation of thanksgiving
for something;
some one,
some time,
some place,
some moment,
some opportunity,
some hope,
some capacity
some turn of events
some something
that no matter how bad everything else is
at the moment,
is still something
we can feel thankful for.
It is even better
if we also know
whom we feel thankful to.
I mention it
because we may take it for granted.
We may otherwise never give it a thought.
But truly,
gratitude is powerful.
It is not magic
but it is medicinal
and it can
and it will
be the source of eventual healing
if we allow it to grow and prosper.
So tonight,
as we come forward to light a candle,
I invite us to begin
by closing your eyes…
taking a nice
slow
quiet breath…
feel the warmth
at the center of your heart,
and turn the cheeks of that inner face you wear
toward that warmth…
Allow the gratitude you feel
to warm you inside
and rise up
to whisper a name.
Then…
still touching that gratitude,
I invite you to light a candle
to the one whose name
your gratitude has called.
Would it be considered prosthelytizing to make this required reading for my depressed patients? It’s something I talk about and you put it all so eloquently!
I’m probably not the best judge of that, but I Trinity@7 is a worshipping community of people from many religions and no religion, and they seemed okay with it. But if you had someone who was simply adamant about ‘no God’, they might get hincky. On the other hand, I do make the case for a non-spiritual gratitude as well.