I Love Bad Chinese Food

I love bad Chinese food and hate myself for it. Don’t get me wrong, I like good Chinese food even better, but I like Happy Family in Seneca Falls, The Great Wall in Buffalo, and Mandarin Garden in Enosburg Falls, VT. That says it all.

It is so disappointing.

I spent the past three years habituating myself to eat well, chowing down on enough vegetables each day to choke a brontosaurus while carbohydrates and me are as distant as Superman and kryptonite. I even like it. Never in my life could I have imagined that one day I would look forward to slow cooked steel cut oats in the morning without brown sugar. Salad was once something I ate at a restaurant or when company came over, but now I can get down right excited about making a bigass salad with a dozen or more ingredients all slathered in homemade dressing. Fish and chicken replaced beef and pork as protein mainstays, and Jiff went the way of the brontosaurus followed by store-bought natural peanut butter in favor of make-it-yourself-at-the-healthfood-store-from-peanuts-only peanut butter.

But in spite of all of that, when a meeting runs late and I need something fast, I am so excited to have an excuse to buy bad Chinese. Sticky, greasy, chemically, invented-in-America recipes that are chocked full of sugar and fat. Yum!

While I am confessing, there is a Ben & Jerry’s double chocolate fudge left in my freezer from when my children were visiting. I threw away all the other pints they left behind but once a week I open up the little round cardboard box holding that frozen creamy poison, and scoop out one spoonful – a serving spoon full. Just one, then I put it back in the freezer. Mmmmm.

That’s my rant, at least for this week.

ANNOUNCING A NEW FEATURE

I am pleased to announce that beginning this week I will be publishing a column twice a month in The Finger Lake Times entitled, “Denim Spirit.” The column will appear as a pull-down on my author site, cameronmiller.org, and available by link from both that website and this one. The FLT is a regional paper with a circulation of twenty thousand and I am grateful to them for this new venue and outlet for the subversivepreacher brand.