My Dog

This post first appeared as a weekly column in The Finger Lakes Times (NY)

With all the low-hanging fruit this week, it is tempting to gesticulate wildly about the imposter in the White House and so cheer the chorus of his detractors while provoking the fringe of the MAGA huddle that may still have enough energy to hurl their predictably ugly responses. The national pundits whose beat is civic and federal, have and will far exceed any frail insight I might add.

Blessedly, I am free to tell you a little more about my dog. She is a sweet blend of two loveable breeds, golden and Labrador retriever. Her coat is blond and short like a lab, and ever so soft like a golden. Her glassy baby browns are held within large almond shapes, edged with what appears to be black eyeliner. Frankly, she has a face that could have sold a million bags of dogfood had we been more ambitious.

Her breeds are known for a warm and charming disposition – friendly, cheerful, and I would add, extroverted. Fairly well trained in most ways, she is irrepressible when around other dogs or people. We have never met another dog she didn’t love, and with people she immediately adores anyone we embrace. She is sneaky though.

I have read that deviousness can also be a trait of both her breeds. Posing behind a sweet, innocent face is a duplicitous character that will try to get away with whatever is possible. For example, if I command her to lie down and stay, she will. Then, if she thinks I am not paying attention, she will crawl ever so gradually toward whatever direction she wants to go in. When she thinks I have forgotten the command, she then gets up and trots off. She knows not to beg at the table for scraps, so she comes over as if to be petted, nuzzling your lap or hand for some attention. Then, if she gets some affection, her long nose nonchalantly skies northward to where it is half an inch above the surface of the table. Her nose a periscope, she can survey what might become available.

It may sound insensitive to say, but training dogs and parenting children have something in common. Both begin with a lack of impulse control that does not mature and get better over time without specific and firm direction provided with consistency. Neglect, or inconsistent and haphazard instruction from a parent or pet owner, will not help the subject learn appropriateness and self-control. While poorly trained pets have consequences that remain mostly in the home, poorly parented children often grow up to inflict damage far and wide. When that child becomes a teacher, CEO, police officer, or President of the United States, it can be truly hazardous to many.

Hmmm, I guess this is about the occupant of the White House. I do not know him personally, but his behavior indicates he is a person without impulse control. In combination with limited empathy and compassion, that makes him very dangerous. I would not have a dog so poorly trained in my house – we need better in the White House. Something needs to be done to remove him from power.